It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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