this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
