I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
