Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
