you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
