That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Oh god it's open bar.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
