In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize