your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
