this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
