Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
