Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
