Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
