You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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