Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
sex in a hospital.. check
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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