I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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