shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
