I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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