I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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