i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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