dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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