Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
