Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
