You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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