we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
