I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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