You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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