Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
