You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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