Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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