last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize