marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
