it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i came on her dog
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
