If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
