I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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