Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So apparently I’m into choking now
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