I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
