if you like me you must not know who I am
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
