ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
