i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
