I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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