yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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