jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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