You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
