you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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