you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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