I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
