Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize