Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
