she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
