what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
