there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
