Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
