Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
