Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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