thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
