I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
