ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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