Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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