I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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