If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
