Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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