i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i think im in europe. pls send help
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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