1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
